I'm a muslim, Not one of those seriously strict ones! But I try my best = )
And, It's a known fact, That your society effects your personality and beliefs!!! And I'm only 16, Which means it'll effect me more then others ...
Where I live, I got about six mosques in our neighborhood! Centers for teaching Qur'an and the Islam way, Islamic charity sites and WAAAAAAY more Islamic places and institutions you'd usually find in other places!
Plus, I've got all of the Muslims that live around me, Including my dear family and friends and Imams and neighbors and all = ) So being with them or simply thinking about them is a lot of help and encouragement for me to stay put on my religion, And to be a strong Muslim!
But now, Mom intends to take me with her to America to (Live) there! = O
I mean, I know that there ARE muslims there, And mosques and Islamic spots, But it's not the same as here... And, I'm afraid that the society will mix up my beliefs! I need the MOST of encouragement I can get! I mean, Where are you gonna find friends over there that wake you up at 4 am to pray Fajir? The friends that Read Qur'an with you! Call you when you miss out a prayer in the mosque!
Where are you gonna find SIX mosques in one neighborhood?! Islamic insitutions ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!! And many more!!!!
I mean, I'm not saying such things don't exist in America, But it's not the same as here!
And I'm afraid that going over there will take me away from Allaah! And I'm even MORE afraid of Allaah himself and of his wrath!!! So, I don't want to go to a place that will take me even 0.1% away from My God! Because I WILL turn ill and fear my heart out!
I know most of you will think (It's not where you are, It's who you are, It's how determined and how strong your will as a Muslim is!!!!)
Well, first of all, My surroundings DO effect me!
And secondly,,, I'm really sorry and afraid to say this, But,,, I don't have that strong will!!!
I mean, sometimes when I'm with a friend that doesn't pray much, I miss out prayers without paying attention! And that's only ONE FRIEND whom I love! Imagine if I were in a WHOLE country with only few people that hold my same religion (Few considered here I guess), And the treatment I will get towards my religion ain't the same either! Over here EVERYTHING is an encouragement for you to get closer to Allaah!
I'm really afraid that my will,,, Will break... And I don't want to see Allaah's wrath! Just imagining it makes me shiver and cry and stay up all night!!!
I'm sorry mom, But, I'm more concerned about my after life than I am about this one,,, If it's live a harder life now, But Heaven later on,,, I'd live the worse if I had to!!!
Allaah Akbar! Subhaan Allaah! wa astaghfir Allaah!
and In shaa' Allaah, He will keep me on his path, On the right path!!!
God bless you Mom for caring, But I know that here is where it's best for me ...
Love you Mom!
